Thursday 5th June. CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN

Clear blue skies and a high sun made for a glorious start to the day. MP Mike has risen early to snorkel for crab, and the crew joined him for a wonderful sea-food breakfast and canapes, subtly prepared by the Daily Mail favourite.


Members of the crew take on-board an early morning Pimms.

Two teams then formed to attack the physical challenges required by the sponsorship. Lord Haves,Drummer Dave and Skipper Nick were to be the walking party, and Ships Magnate Ash and MP Mike agreed to the cycling and orienteering task.

"It`s only a short hop" the walkers agreed. Things of course look so straight forward on a map, although even to the untrained eye there did seem to be a lot of brown contour lines across their chosen route.
"Back at three", said Lord Haves, optimistically.
Suffice it to say, things didn`t turn out quite as expected.
"There was a ruddy great big Dam there", said Drummer Dave upon his return at midnight.
"Appeared from out of nowhere.How old did you say the map was ?"
"And we got shot at by the gamekeeper" said Lord Haves.
"I told him I was at Eton with his master but he just seemed to get even more agitated"
"Wooftas", hissed Skipper Nick.
"I was just warming up, but would they climb another mountain? Would they heck"



"They`re up there somewhere". Mullach a Ghlinne and the terrain covered by the walkers.


"Hope they`d got their snow-gear"


In fact the intrepid threesome had covered almost 20 miles across some of Scotlands more rugged terrain, ascending and descending the equivalent of 8000 feet; a quite remarkable feat for such uninformed ancients.OK, so Skipper Nick had been forced to carry his two companions under his arms for the last few hundred yards, but this should not detract from their courage and endeavour.
"Never again" said Lord Haves, summoning up the last reserves of energy before slipping under his bunk.
"Ooh, I couldn`t even pluck a daisy" whispered Drummer Dave, as he supped Bovril from a Tommy Tippee cup.

INFORMATION

The route they followed was to the east and south-east of Fort Augustus. They climbed and circumnavigated Carn na Saobhaidhe, Carn Chuilinn and the Glendoe Forest,
Mullach a Ghlinne and the Aberchalder Forest, completeing a circular walk back to the YES YES GERALDINE via the Great Glen Way.

Now you might think that the two cyclists had much the easier option, and that of course would have been true but for one key factor; Ships Magnate Ash insisted on map reading.

"Well it starts with Inver. Don`t worry, it`s around here somewhere".
MP Mike was becoming a little agitated with the Magnate`s ramblings. He`d already been led two thirds of the way back to Inverness, and had even traversed the Inverwick Forest in the mistaken belief that they were on their way to Invergarry, the proposed destination on Loch Oich. He was also more than aware of the hundreds of other `Invers` within the vicinity,and the awful possibilities they offered.But even more pressing, his buttocks were sore.
"Look Ash, I think it`s time I took the lead"
And with that he was off, with the Magnate trailing in his wake.One hour later, and deep off-track in a wooded ravine, they sat exhausted at a river crossing.
"We`re doomed" said MP Mike.
"I haven`t felt like this since Black Wednesday"
Just then a rather large Red Deer broke cover, ran across the water and up through the woods oppopsite,to the south-east.
"Let`s follow" said Ships Magnate Ash. MP Mike gave him a tired look.
"No, I read it in `Ray Mears Jungle Survival`. Follow the deer tracks, as they always lead out to the light"
Within ten minutes the pair were in an opening and in sight of a farm. Within twenty they were on a metalled road.
"Oh I love you Deer, Oh I do love you Deer" sang MP Mike.
A passing pedestrian blushed and quickened his step.


MP Mike deep in the woods(not for the first time).


Gorse in full bloom


The Colossus of Roads.Ships Magnate Ash straddles The Bridge Of Oich

INFORMATION

The dynamic duo actually rode and carried their bikes for 18 miles across terrain to the west and south-west of Fort Augustus. They circumnavigated the Inchnacardoch Forest and Auchteraw Woods, crossing the Auchteraw Burn whilst in spate. They climbed Lon Mor, rested up at the Bridge Of Oich, and returned to the YES YES GERALDINE via The Great Glen Way (well ahead of the walkers !)

END NOTE

The crew were at rest when the call came in.
"Hello, is that Ash James"
"Er, yes"
"Hello Sir, it`s Inverness Police here, Inspector Casey Rigg, CID."
Hell, was this to do with trespass by Lord Haves ?
"Just like to thank you Sir, for reporting those young women you found on your boat the other night"
"Oh, er, right,....that`s absolutely fine, no trouble at all"
"Yes Sir, they`re in court next Monday at Noon"
What ? In Court? Everyone was amazed. Their `offence` wouldn`t even merit a Police attendance at the scene, south of the border.
"Yes Sir, admitted everything. Probably get bound over and a fine.Thanks again"
There was a moments stunned silence, and then MP Mike spoke.
"You lucky boys; guess where you`ll be docking on Sunday night". He started to smile.Mike was leaving the boat next day, and of course everyone knew we`d be back in port in Invernes by Sunday.
"Bet they`ve got some big so and so`s in their famililies. Expect they`ll pay you a visit"